i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize