Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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