i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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