Don't you send me to vm
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
