it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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