I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
