Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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