do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
