low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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