Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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