i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
