He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
