Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize