it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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