She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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