So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
