I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
