I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
