Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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