I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
