Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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