dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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