Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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