Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
