Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we have officially lost it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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