Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
