If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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