Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
