i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
