good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize