that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
