someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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