we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
