but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
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Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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