nut hugger
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
