he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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