i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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