My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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