fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
