So drunk its hurt
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
