I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
