But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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