I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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