I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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