I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
