Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
