I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize