Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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