i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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