I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
