I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
