I'm eating all of the evidence.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
