god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize