How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
