This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need a burrito and a hug.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
