why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
