i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize